Finding St. Teresa de Jesus

Sometime in 2019, I asked permission from the Augustinian rector to explore the beautiful private library inside the Basilica of the Santo Niño in Cebu. I had a hunch that I might find a copy of the original Pigafetta manuscript on Magellan's voyage. I was so overjoyed to find it.

Then, I moved to the inner room. Visitors are forbidden visitor here then, they used to have the solemn ritual of bathing and dressing the Sto. Nino statue in this space, it's private and protected from interference.

I was electrified to see walls of books, ancient manuscripts, and floor to ceiling spaces filled with old leather bound books. The room smelled of old paper and old wood.

We stumbled upon a real dark academia space in the Tropics?! I turned to my husband and made a silent gesture of disbelief..."this is crazy! We cannot touch these Agustinian things!"

However, nothing could have prepared me for the thunderstruck moment when I discovered, in the inner archives, ancient copies of Santa Teresa de Ávila's books and facsimiles of her handwriting. Of all the hundreds and hundreds of books, my eyes and my hands were drawn to one unknown, beautiful, large brown leather-bound volume. I had no idea it was her book.

The beautiful leather and the stamped gold cross was so hard to ignore. I couldn't resist. I opened it.

My heart stopped.

It was the "Fundaciones" — then another — El Camino de Perfección.

The pages were so fragile. The words in Spanish, strong and crystal clear. I tried to imagine the sound of her voice. Time stood still as I devoured what I could of her writings — her charm, her grit, the instructions inspired from above.

It is known that she wrote so fast, as though her quill simply glided on paper. The stacks would finish quickly. She instructed the nun tasked to replenish the papers not to speak of what she saw. It was above human talent. It was the grace of God working in Teresa.

I touched and traced her handwriting — a connection to another time and place, almost feeling the beating of her heart.

What is it, Teresa?

Why are you here. Why am I here. We have 460 years between us. I am from the East — the new world of your time. I grew up in the open spaces of the sea. You lived within the great walls of Ávila.

Stay with me. Hear me. Did you see me?

Perhaps — help me write.

I have pondered about this since I wrote this piece years ago. I looked at the photos over and over. I'm adding this fresh light.

Perhaps, the answer is here?

Translation : Original book of the Foundations of her Reform, which the glorious Virgin Saint Teresa of Jesus made in Spain, written in her own hand,
( in the ) library of San Lorenzo el Real...for perpertual memory.

Perpetua Memoria.

For Perpetual memory.

Write.

For the Faith. Defend the Church.

Remember...para Perpetua Memoria.
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